THE FAUX SCHNAUZER

Schultz

This is Schultz, the alleged Schnauzer, age 7 months.  Isn’t he a cutie?  He sure is,  and lively and feisty.  He is loving and snuggly.  He is curious and a collector.  He is all those things, but the one thing he is not is a pure bred Miniature Schnauzer, as advertised.

OK, not advertised, as such.  We acquired Schultz one fine day in September when our young neighbors from across the street showed up with him  and told us he was a gift for us.  Huh?  Gift?  Why would I want another dog, and a puppy kind of dog at that?  We already had Jake, the fuJakezzy unknown mixture  of almost two years.  Didn’t really need another dog.

I’ll tell you why.  Because at barely two months old,  the little black puppy with his solemn black button eyes and his little white soul patch beard, and his white bib, was sooooooo cute.  In fact,  although we had every intention of saying, “Gee, thanks, but no.  We already have a dog.” we immediately started creating reasons for keeping him.

He would be a play pal for Jake.  And  Who knows what would happen to him if we didn’t take him.  Yeah, you know, those kinds of rationales.

So what kind of dog is he, I asked in all my innocence.  “A Miniature Schnauzer,”  they said.  “Why don’t you keep him?  He’s a valuable dog,” said I.  “Because we really wanted a girl to breed and sell the puppies.”

I should know better.  I’ve lived in Mexico almost fifteen years.  I should know by now when I’m being conned.  But this was a gentle con, he was free, he was a gift.

As he grew, and his hair got longer, we waited for the signature beard to come in.  Schnauzers are ratters, they dig holes and go after the vermin in the ground, and have a beard to protect their faces, like this:

schThey have a double coat, the dense inner coat and a long outer coat to shake off the dirt from their dig.  They have distinctive eyebrows, too, and look very Teutonic.  So we named him Schultz.

Even as a tiny guy, he had the eyebrows and he had the beard starting to grow out sideways.  So far so good.  But everything else grew too.  He grew long.  And lanky.  And tall.  Miniature Schnauzers are short stubby fellows,  not lanky with scraggly body and leg hair.

The other day, I really looked at Schultz in all his 7 seven-month glory.  “That,” I said to The Dearly Beloved, “does not look like a purebred Schnauzer.  He agreed.  And then it hit me.  It hit me why the youngsters across the street gave him away.  They knew he was something of a mix, so would not produce purebred pups.

So now we have this Miniature Schnauzer Wannabe,  and who knows what he will look like as he gets older.   My guess is that he will look a lot like a lanky Miniature Schnauzer with some other stuff thrown in.

But we love him anyway.  He is a delight.  The only real purity in this life is love.  And he’s got that in spades.

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